Hello my lovelies!
To all of you who celebrate Christmas, I hope you had an amazing time! To all who don't I hope the last couple of weeks of the year haven't been too strenuous!
2017 is fast drawing to a close and I have been taking this time to clear out my little space and set my intentions for the year to come. Unlike previous years, I'm not planning on making any resolutions for 2018 because I don't think any previous resolutions came from a good place. The usual resolutions I would make would always be about losing weight or losing my virginity; " This is the year I'm going to make it happen," I would say...the pressure I put on myself was often overwhelming and it didn't help me at all. It only made the sting more painful when I reached the end of another year and I hadn't achieved what I set out to.
2017 has been a very different year for a number of reasons, but it has been the most sensational learning curve and I am so grateful to all the teachers that have been part of my life this year. I have discovered so much about myself and about how I want to be going forward that I am honestly really excited for 2018 and what it could potentially hold for me!
This new year's eve however, I'd like to take a moment and think about some of the lessons I have learned over this year (I'm going to try and limit it to the top five) and think about how I'm going to continue with these lessons into 2018 :
1) Learning to be happy on my own
This took me a while to get comfortable with ( in fact I feel like I've only really cracked this in the last few months of this year). When I went from having contact with someone near enough all day every day to suddenly not having that, the space was very prevalent. In the last few months of the year however, after it ended with a guy I was seeing, I decided to call it a day on the dating apps and try just sitting with the loneliness. Because loneliness is just an emotion like any other, and it is ok to feel it and sit with it. It doesn't last forever and eventually it passes and other emotions and feelings fill the space. Self Love comes into play so much here because I learned that in moments where I am not feeling so great, knowing what will make me feel comforted and loved on my own helps tremendously. Last week I had a moment of feeling lonely, so I wrapped myself in my cosiest blanket, poured myself a gin and lost myself in a book. Let me tell you it was just bliss and I was so contented. Which leads me to my second point...
2) Only you can fill the "void"
I'm pretty sure we have all heard at some point in our lives the phrase " I haven't found The One yet." Yes, The One, the mythical person who will show up in your life and be the missing piece of your puzzle. This year, for me, I have decided that I don't think that is true. If you are unhappy with any aspect of your life, it is your responsibility and no-one else's to change that. To abandon yourself, and the love you have for yourself, for another is not only unrealistic but unfair on a partner. It is a hell of a lot of pressure for anyone to put on anybody, so this year I learned how to show up for myself.
I still very much believe that romantic relationships can bring so much joy and so much happiness, but I don't think it is the only source of that kind of happiness like I thought before. I've been working hard on being and maintaining my own source of joy and I'm hoping to build on that even more in 2018!
3) Stay humble - you don't have to do this all on your own
As ridiculous as this sounds, there was a time when to admit that I didn't know what I was doing or that I couldn't do something for myself was a huge blow to my self esteem. I thought that to share problems with others and admit that I couldn't do things alone was a sign of weakness that would inevitably be taken advantage of. I would like to thank each and every one of my friends and family for proving me so, so wrong. This year I challenged myself to open up to friends, family, health professionals and even my work about how my physical and mental health was doing. I have found so much support and feel all the stronger for it! I'm only sorry that it took me so long to get to this point, but I am insanely grateful to be where I am now.
4) Believe in Yourself
I once saw a post on Instagram with the statement : " If you could believe in Santa for years and years, you can believe in yourself for like five minutes." It resonated with me. Fear has controlled my life for so many years and I have let so many amazing opportunities go based on fear of failure and what people would think of me. This year I realise life is just to damn short for that kind of thinking. If you risk nothing, you will get nothing.
5) Be completely and unashamedly you
This year, I learned to let go of constantly wondering what people thought of me and my fear, ultimately, of rejection. I am stronger now in my thoughts and opinions than I have ever been before and I am no longer afraid to voice them. The people who love you for you, are the only people you want to have around you. Yes, that may mean that some people will fall by the wayside, but the ones that remain will inspire and raise you to a whole other level of happiness and confidence. To be loved for exactly who you are, flaws and all, is the best feeling in all the world. I hope to learn more about what makes me who I am in the New Year.
This year has been a rollercoaster for me, but it has also been so much fun! Here's to more fun in 2018 ( Starting with a wee ceilidh tonight! ).
All the best to you and yours whatever you are doing tonight, and I hope 2018 is everything you want it to be! x
To all of you who celebrate Christmas, I hope you had an amazing time! To all who don't I hope the last couple of weeks of the year haven't been too strenuous!
2017 is fast drawing to a close and I have been taking this time to clear out my little space and set my intentions for the year to come. Unlike previous years, I'm not planning on making any resolutions for 2018 because I don't think any previous resolutions came from a good place. The usual resolutions I would make would always be about losing weight or losing my virginity; " This is the year I'm going to make it happen," I would say...the pressure I put on myself was often overwhelming and it didn't help me at all. It only made the sting more painful when I reached the end of another year and I hadn't achieved what I set out to.
2017 has been a very different year for a number of reasons, but it has been the most sensational learning curve and I am so grateful to all the teachers that have been part of my life this year. I have discovered so much about myself and about how I want to be going forward that I am honestly really excited for 2018 and what it could potentially hold for me!
This new year's eve however, I'd like to take a moment and think about some of the lessons I have learned over this year (I'm going to try and limit it to the top five) and think about how I'm going to continue with these lessons into 2018 :
1) Learning to be happy on my own
This took me a while to get comfortable with ( in fact I feel like I've only really cracked this in the last few months of this year). When I went from having contact with someone near enough all day every day to suddenly not having that, the space was very prevalent. In the last few months of the year however, after it ended with a guy I was seeing, I decided to call it a day on the dating apps and try just sitting with the loneliness. Because loneliness is just an emotion like any other, and it is ok to feel it and sit with it. It doesn't last forever and eventually it passes and other emotions and feelings fill the space. Self Love comes into play so much here because I learned that in moments where I am not feeling so great, knowing what will make me feel comforted and loved on my own helps tremendously. Last week I had a moment of feeling lonely, so I wrapped myself in my cosiest blanket, poured myself a gin and lost myself in a book. Let me tell you it was just bliss and I was so contented. Which leads me to my second point...
2) Only you can fill the "void"
I'm pretty sure we have all heard at some point in our lives the phrase " I haven't found The One yet." Yes, The One, the mythical person who will show up in your life and be the missing piece of your puzzle. This year, for me, I have decided that I don't think that is true. If you are unhappy with any aspect of your life, it is your responsibility and no-one else's to change that. To abandon yourself, and the love you have for yourself, for another is not only unrealistic but unfair on a partner. It is a hell of a lot of pressure for anyone to put on anybody, so this year I learned how to show up for myself.
I still very much believe that romantic relationships can bring so much joy and so much happiness, but I don't think it is the only source of that kind of happiness like I thought before. I've been working hard on being and maintaining my own source of joy and I'm hoping to build on that even more in 2018!
3) Stay humble - you don't have to do this all on your own
As ridiculous as this sounds, there was a time when to admit that I didn't know what I was doing or that I couldn't do something for myself was a huge blow to my self esteem. I thought that to share problems with others and admit that I couldn't do things alone was a sign of weakness that would inevitably be taken advantage of. I would like to thank each and every one of my friends and family for proving me so, so wrong. This year I challenged myself to open up to friends, family, health professionals and even my work about how my physical and mental health was doing. I have found so much support and feel all the stronger for it! I'm only sorry that it took me so long to get to this point, but I am insanely grateful to be where I am now.
4) Believe in Yourself
I once saw a post on Instagram with the statement : " If you could believe in Santa for years and years, you can believe in yourself for like five minutes." It resonated with me. Fear has controlled my life for so many years and I have let so many amazing opportunities go based on fear of failure and what people would think of me. This year I realise life is just to damn short for that kind of thinking. If you risk nothing, you will get nothing.
5) Be completely and unashamedly you
This year, I learned to let go of constantly wondering what people thought of me and my fear, ultimately, of rejection. I am stronger now in my thoughts and opinions than I have ever been before and I am no longer afraid to voice them. The people who love you for you, are the only people you want to have around you. Yes, that may mean that some people will fall by the wayside, but the ones that remain will inspire and raise you to a whole other level of happiness and confidence. To be loved for exactly who you are, flaws and all, is the best feeling in all the world. I hope to learn more about what makes me who I am in the New Year.
This year has been a rollercoaster for me, but it has also been so much fun! Here's to more fun in 2018 ( Starting with a wee ceilidh tonight! ).
All the best to you and yours whatever you are doing tonight, and I hope 2018 is everything you want it to be! x
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